~Smoke and Mirrors~
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I usually do not share things that aren’t related to photography in one way or another. And heck, in some ways the story in this journal had to do with photography even though it isn’t literally mentioned. I wrote this while I had a conversation with a friend about both our lives and things we have been through. Below is explained how I learned what friendship truly means to me.
“Kindness & Friendship”
I think that many people undervalue small acts of kindness and it is natural for people to be selfish in a lot of things. Even while going through hard times I have received a lot of kindness in my life and I strongly believe that it should be passed on.
I am not a believer in "karma" but I do believe that anyone can make his own life as easy or difficult as he/she wants to. Being kind to others will not reward you with karma, but it will make other people more likely to be kind to you in return. So in a way, good things come to those who are good to others.
The same of course works the other way. If you are unkind to the world, the world will not be kind to you.
I have been through terrible times before and, deserved or not, received a lot of unkindness from a lot of people I considered friends. Even then there were other people in my life who caught me while free falling into darkness. Those people are still at my side today. They, too, believe that kindness is undervalued by those who have treated me, them and others with unkindness.
Sometimes being kind bites me in the behind when I am kind to someone who turns out not to appreciate it or abuse my kindness. Most people would turn bitter by that over time and no longer be kind to others out of fear for these people. I believe that not giving up on being kind will bring good people into your life eventually. It will make you a happier person to be kind.
I learned this lesson the hard way about three years ago when I was 24 years old and my kindness was abused by people on more than one occasion. They faked their friendship with me to gain favors, betrayed my love and left me for others. And some just weren’t there for me when I needed them most.
They all abused my kindness in one way or another and it hurt so much that I felt cold and lonely.
But I still kept believing that being kind and generous would bring me something good in the end.
That's the moral of this story I am sharing with you. Life, you see, can be like a long dark tunnel. And sometimes you just have to keep going forward to get to a better place. And sometimes that means leaving people behind to get there.
I kept going and all these people who did not value kindness left me when they couldn't get what they wanted or when things became “too difficult” to be there for me.
I thought these people were my friends and felt terribly alone as they left me one by one.
One by one... until I was left only with the people that truly loved me for who I am, with all my crazy quirks and insanity. It were those people that helped me get up after I thought that everyone had left me out in the cold. These friends gave their kindness to me and did not ask for anything in return. Just because they too believe that being kind is a great thing to do.
And that's when it dawned on me; I felt complete. With only those few real friends in my life.
I don't need people to idolize me or think I am cool as long as these few friends love me. I don’t want to be popular or famous or interesting. I want to be loved by those people that ask for nothing in return.
This, is what I think true friendship is about.
Well hello, and welcome on the FotoFur DA page!
FotoFur is a Photographer project based in The Netherlands. As a hobbyist I like to take photos during fursuit events or dedicated for commissioned photo shoots.
My tools for the job are:
Nikon D610 (FX)
Nikon D7000 (DX)
Nikkor 50mm 1.8F (FX)
Nikkor 24-70 2.8F (FX)
Nikkor 135mm F2 DFC (FX)
Nikkor 18-140mm 1.8F (DX)
Nikkor 35mm 1.8F (DX)
Nikkor 18-105mm 3.5/5.6F (DX)
On the side I also like to practice doing video editing and effects. You can find my video work on Youtube username FotoFurNL!
I hope you like what you see, I'd love to hear what you think so consider leaving a comment!